I can't believe it's not vodka!: My Perception of RDR

What IS my perception of Red Dress Run? Chaotic comes to mind. Sensory overload comes to mind. Spectacle comes to mind. The women looked lovely, the men of course, looked like freaks. That, however, was the point. I felt like I had arrived at prom with over 200 dates, and keeping with the prom theme, there was a photo stop. I wish I had a scanner so I could display some of the professional quality photos I recieved of me and my fellow hashers wearing red dresses and seated on kegs, all in a so precious "Olan Mills" style backdrop.

Basically, we drank at Dremo's for 3 hours before the run. Imagine an outdoor bar filled to capacity with 500 people all wearing red dresses. Quite a sight. At 3 we were off, running down to the key bridge (from Clarendon) and crossing over into Georgetown. Somewhere in this area was where tupperware ran smack into a no parking sign and fell down, the sign still going bwawawawang. We walked and ran all the way down M street to the beer check at 3rd edition. Love that bar, another outdoor venue. As we walked down M we got the strangest looks and comments, and a lot of inquiries. I would make friendly eye contact with someone, say "Hi how are you," and then give them the shocker. I didn't think anyone was getting it, until I did it to a guy who was spinning a sign on a street corner. "Did that guy just give me the shocker? Did you see that?"

At 3rd edition I spent most of my time talking to IHOV (International House of Vagina, not to be confused with HOV, High Occupancy Vagina) and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was only wearing latex. Really. I was just beginning to get settled in when trail started again. This was a blur. I know we continued down M for awhile. I know that I walked arm-in-arm with Certified (in her saran-wrap dress, you go girl) and I know that So Hot stopped to take a picture with a cop, in his car. I know that we ended up at what I thought was the convention area of a hotel, that actually was a shriner's hall. I know that there was a dance floor. I remember doing the double dutch. For those of you who don't know this new dance craze, let me explain it to you, and tell you also that it was invented by White Kane. Two people stand facing each other about 8 feet apart. They pretend to be spinning two jump ropes, double dutch style, and looking like they are dancing. Then, random people "jump in" and pretend to be jumping the invisible ropes, as over the top as possible. A circle of spectators will form, some of them not realizing the process, to which you must yell "YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE JUMPING ROPE!" Some will pretend to jump rope as if they are holding the rope themselves, and I find this to be extremely funny.

Now we are getting into an area of haziness. I remember taking a cab to a party on Q st. I remember eating some chicken and being convinced that I was going to get salmonella. I remember walking up when Kane was talking to a bunch of people and asking one of them "Is he talking about the war of 1812 AGAIN?" I remember trying to be funny by telling a couple of guys to lower the voice, and after they lowered it telling them again. I wanted to get them whispering, but one of the guys didn't think this was funny, and he was from the "neighborhood." I remember dodging him the rest of the night. I remember walking up to random guys and whispering to them that Crack Spackler had the hots for them. I also remember waking up at So Hot's on the couch downstairs at about 3 am, swearing my head was in a vice.

I didn't know where the painkillers were, and my head hurt so bad I started moaning "Oh God" over and over again. Poke Her Cabana was sleeping on the couch upstairs and a) heard me, and b) knew that I was downstairs alone with Kane. I can only imagine what was going through her mind at that time, especially since she admitted the next day that she couldn't tell if they were moans of pleasure or pain.

When I decided to crash on So Hot's couch (thanks for the hospitality) I didn't realize I would be waking up to eggs with cheese and mushrooms and piping hot cornbread. It was like a B&B, Hotel de So Hot. I would have been living like a king if it weren't for the ferocity of my pounding head. I made it to kickball though, which was a victory in itself. THE END

6 Comments

That's an excellent recap, but no pix? Still lovin that double dutch!!

Posted by: Capt'n S.A. Ho | October 07, 2005 at 10:56 AM

" wish I had a scanner so I could display some of the professional quality photos I recieved of me and my fellow hashers wearing red dresses and seated on kegs, all in a so precious "Olan Mills" style backdrop."

*sigh* What are they teaching you young folk these days? That site has the worst security of EVER.

Example: http://www.visualwow.com/proofs/washphoto/4345/Images/norm/RedDress109.jpg

Posted by: | October 07, 2005 at 04:23 PM