I got this retarded neighbor

Honestly, I hate to use the term retarded, because what if she really is retarded?  It is bad to call someone retarded if they really are, but if you are insulting one of your friends, it is cool, right?  I don't mind using the term "got" though, because anyone who knows me knows, I am street.  I don't have things, I got things, BETTA RECOGNIZE.  So anyway, to be politically correct, I have this neighbor of questionable non-retardedness.  I come home, and the ass end of her vehicle is always on the line dividing our parking spots.  I have always thought I would like to leave a mean note.  The problem with that is that she never puts the ass end of her vehicle in anyone's spot but mine.  This fact would enable even a person of questionable non-retardedness to deduce that I was the one that left the note. 

Okay, her car is always up in my space.  This is bad.  How does one negotiate with someone of questionable non-retardedness?  What options do I have?  What are my courses of action?  At first I thought to myself, "Lets gather clues."  Who is this person?  How do I communicate with her?  I came home one night and peered into her car and saw a blockbuster movie.  It was called "My First Mister."  This terrified me, because for some reason it sounded like a movie that a really needy person would rent.  I imagined me communicating with her in an unfriendly way, only to have her to latch on to me in some questionably non-retarded way.  I couldn't go there.  I am going to look up that movie right now, hang on. Okay, I am back, thanks for waiting.  Here is the description: "Jennifer, a solitary and defiant 17-year-old girl, takes a job in an upscale clothing store despite misgivings about her finicky middle-aged boss, Randall. Much to her surprise, she finds herself slowly forging a relationship with the older man and is forever transformed by the experience."  So, give it to me straight, can I tell this b*tch off?

Comments

[Maryann]

Ummm... you better either deal with her parking or take a seminar in people skills. If she actually watched and liked that movie, then you will have major issues with her. Never know though, could be the woman of your dreams.

[Notvodka]

LOL. I need to learn how to frame my complaints in a friendly manner. Maybe I could bake her a cake that says "Learn how to park" on the top. Think that would work?

[Weeeee!]

Just don't make her a chocolate cake with a picture of Strawberry Shortcake on it or Kane will yell at you.