Eurekee!

I have been doing a lot of thinking and calculating lately, and I think my fifteen minutes of fame are about to begin soon.  Readers, I have made two discoveries, and these discoveries threaten to blow the lid off of the way we humans look at the world.  After months of meticulous work I have finally discovered, and think that I can now prove:

1)  A bird in the hand is actually worth 2.1663 birds in the bush.

2)  E is actually equal to MC squared plus 7.

I don't plan on resting here either, there is plenty more work to be done.  Most people would be content that they had made their contribution, but not me, no siree.

To celebrate, I decided to go out for breakfast with my mom.  I had eggs, toast, and sausage but then forayed from breakfast straight into lunch by eating a single onion ring.  Now, if anyone asks, I will tell them I went to brunch.